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Remember the expression: "When all else fails, read the instructions (or owner's manual)." ?
In our case the manufacturer supplying the owner's manual is God, our Creator; and what our Creator says about marriage, is in our owner's manual (the Bible).
Understanding ourselves is a challenge, even with God's word in the Bible. Assuming that our spouse views and feels the same way we do, is obviously an incorrect assumption. God knows all the similarities and differences between spouses, because He created them. God can give us insight, and reveal correct conclusions, as we seek to understand ourselves and our spouse!
By reading through the Bible verses relating to and dealing with marriage, our Creator shows us how He structured marriage to accommodate: how He made us, and how He made our spouse. There are similarities, but as we have observed, the are endless important differences between spouses.
As we read through these Bible
verses describing marriage, we will discover that our lack
of knowledge has been empowering Satan for years. Only
with a firm reliance on God's words in the Bible,
can we expel Satan from misleading our marriage, once and for all.
Glance at the Table of Contents below, and click on any of the many useful phrases, to go directly to the Bible verse(s) dealing with that phrase. Use your browser's upper left "<Back" button to return here to the TOC.
Table of Contents (scroll to (as you read), or click-on (to go to), these subheadings )
| God Creates Adam on the 6th Day of Creation Week | ||
| Subject | From the Husband's Perspective | From the Wife's Perspective |
| God creates
Adam on the 6th day of Creation Week. God lets man
|
~ God's
plans to create, and blessings for, men and women, and to populate the
earth with people
[ later, the Bible says
God put (in the garden in Eden) the man whom he had formed.
(Gen 2:8,15)
]
Gen 1:26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. Gen 1:27 So God created man [Adam] in his [God's] own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. [ Describes plan to be completed later. Adam created here, put in garden of Eden later (see Gen 2:7-8,15) and Eve created later (see Gen 2:21-25) ] |
|
| Be fruitful, and
multiply, subdue the earth |
Gen 1:28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. | |
| Man and woman given every herb and fruit for meat | Gen 1:29 And God said, Behold, I have given you [man and woman] every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat. | |
| Animals given every green herb for meat | Gen 1:30 And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I [God] have given every green herb for meat: and it was so. | |
| God Puts Adam in the Garden of Eden | ||
| Subject | From the Husband's Perspective | From the Wife's Perspective |
| God reflects on the 6th day of
Creation
Week. |
~ More
on the Creation of Man and Woman (Adam created on Day # 6 of Creation Week
according to Gen 1:27 and Gen 2:7-8,15
below)
Gen 2:7 And the LORD God formed
man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils
the breath of life; and man became a living soul.
[reflecting on the events of Day#6 of Creation Week (see Gen
1:26-29) when Adam was created]
|
|
| God puts Adam in the Garden of Eden | ~ God
plants a garden in Eden, puts Adam in it, and describes the trees in the
garden
Gen 2:8 And the LORD God planted
a garden eastward in Eden; and there he [God] put the
man [Adam] whom he had formed [on Day#6 of Creation Week].
|
|
| God mentions the special trees | Gen 2:9 And out of the ground made the LORD God to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of knowledge of good and evil. | |
| God defines Adam's jobs in the garden | ~ God
put Adam into the garden of Eden to dress it and keep it
Gen 2:15 And the LORD God took the man [Adam], and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it. |
|
| God gives Adam a command about the tree of the knowledge of good and evil | ~ Adam
instructed by God to not eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil
Gen 2:16 And the LORD God commanded the man [Adam], saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: Gen 2:17 But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou [Adam] shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die. |
|
| God Declares the Reasons for Creating Eve | ||
| Subject | From the Husband's Perspective | From the Wife's Perspective |
| Should not be alone, make him a help meet | ~ God
declares the reasons for creating Eve
Gen 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man [Adam] should be alone; I will make him an help meet [a helper suitable] for him. |
|
| Adam names every living creature, but no help meet was found for Adam | ~ Adam
names the animals
Gen 2:19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air [on Day#4 (see Gen 1:20-22) and Day#6 (see Gen 1:24-25) of Creation Week]; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. Gen 2:20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet [a suitable helper] for him. |
|
| Marriage
Defined: A Man shall leave his father and
mother, and
a Man shall cleave [be joined] unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh |
||
| Subject | From the Husband's Perspective | From the Wife's Perspective |
| Marriage: man and his wife shall be one flesh | Gen
2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his
mother, and shall cleave [be joined] unto his wife:
and they shall be one flesh. [ This is a categorical
statement about man and his wife, because Adam had no earthly father or
mother, nor did Eve. ]
[ This verse also appears in Mat 19:5-6, Mar 10:7-8 and Eph 5:31. Also see 1Co 6:16. ] |
|
| Marriage: what God hath joined together | Mat
19:6 Wherefore they [a man and his wife] are no more twain
[two], but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined
together [in marriage], let not man put asunder [put
away, take apart, divide].
[ This verse also appears in Mar 10:9. ] |
|
| They were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed | ||
| Subject | From the Husband's Perspective | From the Wife's Perspective |
| naked and not ashamed | Gen
2:25 And they [Adam and Eve] were both naked, the man
and his wife, and were not ashamed.
[ See Gen 3:7 where sinning causes them to be ashamed, and want to cover their nakedness. ] |
|
| Adam and Eve are persuaded to Eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil | ||
| Subject | From the Husband's Perspective | From the Wife's Perspective |
| serpent
persuades Eve to eat the forbidden fruit |
Gen
3:1 Now the serpent was more subtle [crafty] than any
beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto
the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every [any] tree
of the garden?
Gen 3:2 And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden: Gen 3:3 But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die. Gen 3:4 And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: Gen 3:5 For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil. |
|
| a tree to be desired to make one wise | Gen 3:6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat. | |
| eyes opened,
knew they were naked |
Gen 3:7 And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons. [see naked and not ashamed in Gen 2:25 ] | |
| Gen 3:8 And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden. | ||
| I was afraid,
because I was naked; and I hid myself |
Gen
3:9 And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto
him, Where art thou?
Gen 3:10 And he [Adam] said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself. Gen 3:11 And he [God] said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat? |
|
| God gave Eve to be with Adam | Gen 3:12 And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. | Gen 3:13 And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled [deceived] me, and I did eat. |
| Subject | From the Husband's Perspective | From the Wife's Perspective |
| God's Judgments for Eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil | ||
| Subject | From the Husband's Perspective | From the Wife's Perspective |
| serpent
cursed |
Gen
3:14 And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because
thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above
every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust
shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:
Gen 3:15 And I will put enmity [malice, hatred] between thee and the woman, and between thy seed [offspring] and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel. |
|
| Subject | From the Wife's Perspective | |
| A woman's pain in childbearing
will greatly increase,
in pain thou shalt give birth to children. |
Gen 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply [increase] thy sorrow [pain] and [in] thy conception [childbearing]; in sorrow [pain] thou shalt bring forth [give birth to] children; | |
| Instead of eating the fruit of a tree to be desired to make one wise [ from Gen 3:6 ], a woman's desire shall be to [for] thy husband. [ Also see Solomon's account of finding women with wisdom in Ecc 7:27-28. ] | Gen 3:16b and thy desire shall be to thy husband, | |
| The husband shall rule over the wife. | Gen 3:16c and he shall rule over thee. | |
| Subject | From the Husband's Perspective | From the Wife's Perspective |
| ground
cursed, farming
|
Gen 3:17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake [because of you]; in sorrow [painful toil] shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; | |
| man shall
eat the herb of the field |
Gen 3:18 Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb [plants] of the field; | |
| from dust
to dust |
Gen 3:19 In the sweat of thy face [brow] shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return. | |
| Eve, the
mother of all |
Gen 3:20 And Adam called his wife's name Eve; because she was [would become] the mother of all [the] living. | |
| Gen 3:21 Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them. | ||
| Adam [& Eve]
cast out of the Garden of Eden and separated from the tree of life |
Gen
3:22 And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become
as one of us, to know good and evil: and now,
lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and
eat, and live for ever:
Gen 3:23 Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken. Gen 3:24 So he [God] drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep [guard] the way of [to] the tree of life. |
|
| more on the
tree of life |
[
If we overcome, we will be able to eat the fruit from the tree
of life and live forever.
Where will the tree of life be in the future? see Rev 2:7, Rev 22:2, Rev 22:14 ] |
|
| Subject | From the Husband's Perspective | From the Wife's Perspective |
|
|
||
| Introduction
to the "Unconditional Love Triangle" The Marriage
Team
The verses in this section (and elsewhere) paint a picture that God's love for each spouse is unconditional. Likewise, each spouse's love for God must be unconditional. (God created the capacity within each of us to unconditionally love Him. The choice is ours to do so.) Finally, to complete the "Unconditional Love Triangle," each spouse's love for their spouse must also be unconditional. (Again, God created us with the capacity to do so. The choice is ours to so do.) Conditional love is based on conditions like: what we have, and often compared to what others have (things, money, shelter / houses, transportation / cars, possessions / stuff, entertainment); what others say and do, or how they feel about us; what the future holds, or does not hold; or maybe exactly what acts our spouse is supposed to do and when. Unconditional love is not dependent on any such conditions. If our love for our spouse is conditional, then Satan will be happy to endlessly point out to us how our spouse is failing to meet whatever conditions we have defined. If our spouse is sinning, then we can hate the sin, but still unconditionally love the sinner, just as God still unconditionally loves us, even when we have sinned. Unconditional love between spouses makes a marriage strong (described as inner strength). Each spouse, confident in the other's unconditional love for them, can tackle all the things being thrown at a marriage (by the world) each day; including problems each spouse is having, situations the children are facing or creating, repairs to the house, providing for the family, the economy, the government, and the world's problems. The list is endless, but none of these things need to affect our unconditional love for our spouse. The "Unconditional Love Triangle" symbolizes a God created "marriage team effort," ready to take on, whatever the world throws at our marriage. With God/Christ/Holy Spirit on our marriage team, nothing is impossible. Remember, both spouses are on the same marriage team. Always think of your spouse as being on your marriage team (what God has joined together to be one flesh). The rest of the world is on the other team or teams. |
||
| Subject | From the Wife's Perspective | |
| wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands | ~ Marriage Like
Christ and the Church
Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, |
|
| wives, submit yourselves unto the Lord | Eph 5:22b as [you submit yourselves] unto the Lord. | |
| Subject | From the Husband's Perspective | From the Wife's Perspective |
| the husband is the head of the wife | Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church [ congregation, body ]: and he [Christ] is the saviour of the body. | |
| let the wives be [subject] to their own husbands in every thing | Eph 5:24 Therefore as the church [ congregation, body ] is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be [subject] to their own husbands in every thing. | |
| husbands, love your wives | Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church [ congregation ], and gave himself for it; | |
| Eph 5:26 That he [Christ] might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, | ||
| Eph 5:27 That he [Christ] might present it to himself a glorious church [ congregation ], not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. | ||
| men to love [, nourisheth and cherisheth] their wives as their own bodies | Eph 5:28 So
ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.
He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Eph 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but [man] nourisheth and cherisheth it [his own flesh], even as the Lord [nourisheth and cherisheth] the church [ congregation, body ]: |
|
| Eph 5:30 For we [ the church, congregation, body ] are members of his [Christ's] body, of his flesh, and of his bones. | ||
| Marriage: man and his wife shall be one flesh | Eph
5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and
mother, and [he] shall be joined unto his wife, and
they two shall be one flesh.
[ This verse also appears in Gen 2:24, Mat 19:5-6, and Mar 10:7-8. Also see 1Co 6:16. ] |
|
| Eph 5:32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church [ congregation ]. | ||
| [let each husband] so love his wife even as himself | Eph 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular [let each husband] so love his wife even as himself; | |
| Subject | From the Wife's Perspective | |
| and the wife see that she reverence her husband. | Eph 5:33b and the wife see that she reverence her husband. | |
| Our
Bodies are the Members of the Body of Christ, Christ's Congregation.
Flee Fornication. |
||
| Subject | From the Husband's Perspective | From the Wife's Perspective |
| the body is not for fornication | ~ Our
Bodies are the Members of the Body of Christ, Christ's Congregation.
Flee Fornication.
1Co 6:13b Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. 1Co 6:14 And God hath both raised up the Lord [Jesus Christ], and will also raise up us by his own power. |
|
| your bodies
are the members of Christ
make them the members of a harlot? God forbid. |
1Co
6:15 Know ye not that your bodies are the members of
Christ? shall I then take the members
of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot?
God forbid.
1Co 6:16 What?
know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is
one body? for two, saith he [God], shall be one
flesh.
|
|
| 1Co 6:17 But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. | ||
| Flee fornication
fornication sinneth against his own body ye are bought with a price |
1Co
6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth
is without [outside] the body; but
[except] he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own
body.
1Co 6:19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 1Co 6:20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. |
|
| Divorce not so from the beginning. Divorce is from the hardness of your hearts. | ||
| Subject | From the Husband's Perspective | From the Wife's Perspective |
| they [a man and his wife] are no more twain [two], but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together [in marriage], let not man put asunder | ~ Concerning
Divorce
Mat 19:3 The Pharisees also came unto him [Jesus], tempting [testing] him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away [divorce] his wife for [any and] every cause [reason]? Mat 19:4 And he [Jesus] answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he [God, the Creator] which made them at the beginning made them male and female, Mat 19:5 And
said, For this cause shall a man leave [his] father and mother,
and shall cleave [be united] to his wife: and they
twain [two] shall be one flesh?
Mat 19:6 Wherefore
they [a man and his wife] are no more twain [two], but one flesh.
What therefore God hath joined together [in marriage],
let not man put asunder [put away, take apart, divide, separate].
|
|
| because of the hardness
of your hearts, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives:
but from the beginning it was not this way. |
Mat
19:7 They [the Pharisees] say unto him [Jesus], Why did Moses
then command [a man] to give a writing of divorcement, and to put
her away?
Mat 19:8 He [Jesus] saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered [permitted] you to put away [divorce] your wives: but from the beginning it was not so [not this way]. |
|
| Whosoever
shall divorce his wife, except it be for fornication,
and shall marry another, committeth adultery |
Mat 19:9 And I [Jesus] say unto you, Whosoever shall put away [divorce] his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: | |
| and whoso marrieth her which is divorced doth commit adultery | Mat 19:9b and whoso marrieth her which is put away [divorced] doth commit adultery. | |
| Who can receive the saying that:
it is not good to marry ? |
~ Who
can receive the saying that: it is not good to marry ?
Mat 19:10 His [Jesus'] disciples say unto him [Jesus], If the case [situation] of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. Mat 19:11 But he [Jesus] said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save [but only] they to whom it is given. Mat 19:12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of [by] men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it. |
|
| Reasons to Marry, and when you do, Do Not Defraud / Deprive Each Other | ||
| ~ Teachings
on Marriage: Reasons to Marry, and when you do, Do Not Deprive Each
Other.
1Co 7:1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me [Paul]: |
||
| Subject | From the Husband's Perspective | From the Wife's Perspective |
| It is good for a person not to marry | 1Co 7:1b It is good for a man not to touch a woman [not to marry]. | [ in other verses, Paul states that: It is good for a woman not to marry. (see 1Co 7:8) ] |
| Nevertheless, to avoid fornication | 1Co 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication [immorality], | |
| let everyone have their own spouse | 1Co 7:2b let every man have his own wife, | 1Co 7:2c and let every woman have her own husband. |
| let everyone render unto their spouse due benevolence | 1Co 7:3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: | 1Co 7:3b and likewise also [let] the wife [render] unto the husband [due benevolence]. |
| each person's body, also belongs to their spouse | 1Co 7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body [alone], but [her body also belongs to] the husband: | 1Co 7:4b and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body [alone], but [his body also belongs to] the wife. |
| do not Defraud / Deprive each other | 1Co 7:5 Defraud ye not one the other [do not deprive each other], except it be with [mutual] consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and [then] come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency [because of your lack of self-control]. | |
| Subject | From the Husband's Perspective | From the Wife's Perspective |
| Let your Women keep Silence in the Churches; ask their husbands at home to learn | ||
| Subject | From the Wife's Perspective | |
| Let your women keep silence in the churches | 1Co 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches [ congregations ]: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. | |
| if women will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home | 1Co 14:35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church [ congregation ]. | |
| An observation
concerning men and women, with wisdom:
Men - 1 in a 1,000 ; Women - 0 in a 1,000 |
||
| ~ An
observation concerning men and women, with wisdom: Men - 1 in a 1,000;
Women - 0 in a 1,000
Ecc 7:27 Behold, this have I found, saith the preacher, counting one by one, to find out the account: Ecc 7:28 [ Wisdom ] Which yet my soul seeketh, but [wisdom] I find not: |
||
| Subject | From the Husband's Perspective | From the Wife's Perspective |
| one man [with wisdom] among a thousand have I found | Ecc 7:28b one man [with wisdom] among a thousand have I found; | |
| Subject | From the Wife's Perspective | |
| but a woman [with wisdom] among all those [among a thousand] have I not found | Ecc 7:28c but a woman [with wisdom] among all those [among a thousand] have I not found. | |
| Subject | From the Husband's Perspective | From the Wife's Perspective |
| [ For verses mentioning women with wisdom see: 2Sa 14:2(1-20), 2Sa 20:16(13-26), Pro 14:1, Pro 31:26 ] | ||
| [ Some Bible versions translate this verse, using the subject (upright) found in the next verse. In this verse, perhaps Solomon is referring to his 700 wives and 300 concubines = 1,000 women, which may not have provided an environment conducive to upright behavior nor wisdom, on the part of those women. ] | ||
| one [upright] man among a thousand have I found | Ecc 7:28d one [upright] man among a thousand have I found; | |
| Subject | From the Wife's Perspective | |
| but a [an upright] woman among all those [among a thousand] have I not found | Ecc 7:28e but a [an upright] woman among all those [among a thousand] have I not found. | |
| God hath made man [both men and women] upright | Ecc 7:29 Lo, this only have I found, that God hath made man [both men and women] upright; but they have sought out many inventions [schemes]. | |
| Subject | From the Husband's Perspective | From the Wife's Perspective |
| God | ||
| Subject | From the Husband's Perspective | From the Wife's Perspective |
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